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About Deviant Member is in love with Lucina.Female/United States Groups :iconlucatora-shippers: Lucatora-Shippers
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I BEAT RED RESCUE WITH TEAM AMBROSIA I'M VERY PLEASED

the nine floors until you reach rayquaza are the most nerve wracking thing because i desperately tried to save my reviver seeds til i reached the kangaskhan statue, and then i remembered how several times when i played this dungeon in the past, i'd get offed by a tropius because of their speed boost

I WAS REALLY ANXIOUS

I PROBABLY WOULD'VE CRIED IF I'D FAINTED AT THAT POINT, REALLY

BUT I DIDN'T

rayquaza didn't really give me trouble tho. hit him with attract and let my teammates do most of the damage because they both do more than my hero could BUT WE WON

BECAUSE I KEPT MAKING RAYQUAZA FALL IN LOVE WITH ELAINE

BEAUTIFUL
  • Mood: Cheerful
  • Listening to: Ellie Goulding - My Blood
  • Playing: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Red Rescue Team
so yeah like i mentioned in my last journal, these are more thoughts centering around the partner, rather than the hero in the explorers line of games, because the hero is already pretty well-established. i'm not replaying sky until i finish red rescue, though, so any back story i would have for the partner will have to wait, but i've had some thoughts concerning the partner for awhile. the hero/partner aspect is, arguably, the most obvious in this set of games, but it's here that i question that the partner's feelings for the hero might be a bit...unhealthy, at times.

not in a gross way, but in a way that makes me question the partner's mental state, to the point that i feel that they were bordering suicidal thoughts after the hero disappeared. i know, i might be pushing it, but think—i believe they are very emotionally dependent on the hero, as it's alluded to a handful of times by a few of the characters, and even pretty much spoken by the partner themselves, though not quite that frankly. even though the partner grows over the course of the game, most definitely, the partner is entirely convinced that the reason they're able to grow stronger is because the hero is there, undermining their own personal accomplishments. because the hero was the one who helped them initially realize their dream, they believe that the only way they can be strong at all is if the hero is there. in their mind, the only way they can accomplish anything is if the hero is there.

that's not a healthy mindset, because you have to question how the partner will function with the hero gone, when they have no choice but to go it alone. it seems as if the partner somehow manages to cope for some months after the hero is gone, but get this—even that is only because of the hero! whenever grovyle discusses with the hero about the fact that the pokemon from the future will disappear once everything is fixed, he also expresses concerns that the partner will be left alone, and you can see that the hero shares these concerns.

why? it's not as if the partner would have no one to comfort them in the hero's absence; they have the entire guild that'll be there to pat them on the back and tell them it'll be okay. they're all an enthusiastic bunch and of course they would provide comfort to the partner while they're grieving. except it's not the same, and it's likely that, in the months that follow the hero's disappearance, the partner lives on just...going through the motions.

the partner even expresses to the hero that they only made it this far because the hero was there and that they wouldn't no what to do with them gone, but the hero insists that they be strong on their own and live. they want the partner to recognize their own accomplishments that they achieved and keep on living their life, even without the hero there. the hero desperately, desperately wants that for the partner...but it doesn't end up the way the hero intended.

the partner continues to live on, but only because it was the hero's final wish, and that's not what the hero wanted. the hero's wish was for the partner to live for them, but that's not what happens. even after months, the grief is still fresh in the partner. they only way they coped was likely with the knowledge that they were fulfilling the hero's final wish. then, eventually, the partner heads down to the beach, and bidoof stops them and asks where they're heading, and that seems pretty small, but...bidoof probably knows that the partner isn't in the best of shape and fears over what they might do.

bidoof is the one that finds the partner collapsed in the sand while they're bawling, and he'd gone looking for them because they were gone a long time—what if bidoof worried about the partner not returning home one day? that, one day, it'll be too much for them to bear and they do something drastic, and maybe his thoughts are exaggerations, but the hero disappearing absolutely ruined the partner. the partner followed the hero's wishes in the wrong way and only caused themselves more grief in the end, because they weren't allowing themselves to properly cope.

even after all these months, the partner still mourns the same as the day the partner left, and it's so strong that even dialga can feel its intensity. from wherever they are, gosh, dialga alludes that the hero is grieving for their partner, and perhaps they wouldn't be if the partner had managed to live on happily, but...they hadn't. they're a broken mess that doesn't know what to do with themselves because they felt like the only reason anything mattered at all is because the hero is there.

BUT IT'S OKAY BECAUSE THE HERO COMES BACK AND EVERYTHING IS ALL PEACHY KEEN !!! except it's not. nothing has changed. the partner is still stuck in that rut.

they're happy now, but only because the hero is there, and if something were to take them away again, there's no telling what would happen, honesty. i like to think that their own self-esteem improves over the course of the post-game, but it's very worrisome to think that the partner feels as if they could hardly function without the partner there, you know?
  • Mood: Cheerful
  • Listening to: Ellie Goulding - My Blood
  • Playing: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Red Rescue Team
man, when's the last time i've talked about these games

so i've started playing pokemon mystery dungeon: red rescue team on my game boy advance again and it's kind of rekindled my love for the little series as a whole ?? like i've always loved them but, y'know, it kind of got pushed to the side by other things and stuff that i discovered

in my current play through, my hero is an eevee named elaine and my partner is a cyndaquil named amber. i consider them both to be female-identifying because lesbian hero/partner is really cute to me tbh ....... oh, and my team is called team ambrosia. i've been using 'ambrosia' as the name for a lot of things in games i've played recently, for some reason, including the name of my farm in rune factory 4 ?? but, anyway, replaying red rescue has also made me recall an issue i have with the first pair of games, and it was an issue that was addressed beautifully in gates to infinity and given a solution to, but not so much in red and blue rescue.

it doesn't make the games bad by any means and it's easy to overlook, but it sort of bugs me that the hero has absolutely no conflict whatsoever over whether or not they really want to return home to their world after the meteor is destroyed, or if they want to stay in the pokemon world with their new friends. it's reasonable that they would be unsure in regards to their decision, but they must've had a life back as a human—friends, family, people that love them, you know? if they still didn't remember themselves, i guess that'd make it a <bit</i> more excusable, but there's no reason that they wouldn't, in my opinion, at least.

it's just my theory, but after the meteor was destroyed, the pokemon world was saved
—according to gardevoir, the hero's memories were erased because, prior to becoming a pokemon, they asked to be put to the test so they could prove themselves worthy of saving the pokemon world. once rayquaza stopped the falling star, their role is fulfilled, therefore meaning that they've proved themselves, so while your character is making the trip through time and space as a little ball of light, i see no reason why their memories wouldn't have returned to them. at that point, they must remember who they are...or, perhaps were, as a human, and yet they feel no hesitation in staying. i know their partner is an 'invaluable, irreplaceable' friend, but it's still odd.

so, i've considered some reasoning for this utter lack of hesitation
—my first thought is that the hero might not have had the best life before coming to the pokemon world. they might've been struggling with depression, even, for whatever reason, and i feel like gardevoir might've chosen to watch over them ?? it was a long time before she was able to speak to them directly. and when she finally could, she approached them with the task of saving the pokemon world not because they were special, but because she truly believed they could do great things. when she tasks them with this, they're skeptical, because it's likely that they don't think too highly of themselves, but gardevoir is certain, so the hero agrees, on the condition that gardevoir allow them to prove themselves worthy. near the end, after the star is destroyed, gardevoir apologizes to the hero, because she's watched them grow into a happier person in the pokemon world. happier than they ever were as a human.

that's why, even whenever the hero remembers themselves, they don't want to go home, because they're happy here. they've proved to themselves that they're worth something and perhaps they feel that all of this stuff they've accomplished in the pokemon world wont matter once they've become a human again and ?? that scares them. they want to stay with the friends they've made, people that love them, in a world where they're admired as a hero among pokemon. the savior of the world.

the other idea i had that's much simpler, though still plausible, is that the hero simply felt a complete ..... disconnection with who they used to be, at this point. they must've spent at least a year as a pokemon, given that some rescues must last more than one day, right ?? plus, all that time spent as a fugitive must've spanned at least a month, i wager, given the terrain they crossed and how far they traveled. i know the game makes it seem like they hardly ever stopped to rest, but they had to have done so at some point, or they probably would've, well, died. i'm getting off-topic, lmao, anywaaay, so spending more and more time as a pokemon just gradually made them feel less and less like a human. they still held the knowledge that they were originally human, but by all intents and purposes, they're a pokemon now, have lived as a pokemon for so long, so life as a human just seems like a foreign thing to them now.

personally, i don't find the latter idea as exciting, but it could always be a mix of both—memories that make them ultimately decide that they prefer life as a pokemon, along with a disconnection with who they used to be. they go hand in hand, especially, if the hero truly had kind of hated themselves as a human and didn't really recognize their self-worth, whereas now...they're the leader of a well-respected rescue team. they've done amazing things and even saved the world. they're happy with themselves, so that person they used to be feels like a different person entirely.

they've carved a new path for themselves, so why should they let anyone else decide how it ends ??

that's how i feel, anyway. like i said, it's an easy issue to overlook, because one could easily just "of course you'd want to stay !! your partner's your best friend !!!" and yeah, that's always the simplest possibility. now that i think about it, the hero could've just as easily fretted over how well the partner could function without them and couldn't bear the thought of leaving them alone ..... either way, hero/partner feels, i guess. the second set of games didn't have to address this issue, because it was established that the future was shitty. i think the explorers' games might've done a better job with showing the hero's internal conflict, but i still believe that they would've begrudgingly accepted their role, regardless.

speaking of explorers', i think i might need to make another journal on my thoughts regarding the mental state of the partner, but that'll be a bit later, so—

this was long and rambly, but those of you that have followed me for years probably remember how i used to nerd over these games, and they still hold a special place in my heart, you know ?? also, this means you might see a few new things from me, most in terms of writing. i don't think it'll be anything huge, but i might write some pokemon mystery dungeon-related drabbles, likely centering around elaine and amber. would you all be interested in that ??

i'll probably do it regardless but y'know
  • Mood: Cheerful
  • Listening to: Ellie Goulding - My Blood
  • Playing: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Red Rescue Team
will i ever be free of this game's grasp ?? probably not it's been months now lmao
  • Mood: Pain
it feels like i only come on here nowadays to vent when i feel like i can't do so on tumblr, 'cause certain people would see it but. lmao i don't care right now..i'm so upset and i hate it, i'm not usually jealous of rp partners but this particular partner only had one ship on their blog, that being between mine and their character and they're multi-ship, i'm not expecting them to stick to solely me, 'cause i'm multi-ship, too. b ut i'm so irrationally paranoid that they're gonna enjoy what they do with this other person they've start shipping with more than what they've developed with mine and they've roleplayed with them constantly lately and i want to send them things to roleplay, too, but i f eel like i'm. intruding somehow and that's stupid and i've been stressing myself to death for days

i know i should say something but i don't want them to stop roleplaying or having fun for my sake. that's not fair bc i roleplay and ship with plenty of other people, too. but lately it feels like if i want to do something with one of their characters, someone else kinda. comes along and hogs the attention. like we talked about shipping these two new muses of ours before we even made the blogs and then we made the blogs for them and were hella excited to ship them, then someone else just n EEDED TO SHIP WITH THEIR CHARACTER BC THEY WERE THIRSTY and suddenly i'm not getting any replies at all and i'd sit there. excited. just waiting. knowing i'd probably get myself excited over nothing.

and it's like why do i bother i'm just getting myself upset

it's selfish to want their attention constantly but it feels like all of my roleplay partners are having more fun with someone else and when i talk about my ideas to them, they seem excited!! they love them !!! but they're clearly doing so much more with someone else and i just .......

it ruins my motivation and i'm a dumb baby that needs attention and assurance that i am important and ugh slay me i'm stupid
  • Mood: Pain

deviantID

TsukaimonBOOM
is in love with Lucina.
United States
I BEAT RED RESCUE WITH TEAM AMBROSIA I'M VERY PLEASED

the nine floors until you reach rayquaza are the most nerve wracking thing because i desperately tried to save my reviver seeds til i reached the kangaskhan statue, and then i remembered how several times when i played this dungeon in the past, i'd get offed by a tropius because of their speed boost

I WAS REALLY ANXIOUS

I PROBABLY WOULD'VE CRIED IF I'D FAINTED AT THAT POINT, REALLY

BUT I DIDN'T

rayquaza didn't really give me trouble tho. hit him with attract and let my teammates do most of the damage because they both do more than my hero could BUT WE WON

BECAUSE I KEPT MAKING RAYQUAZA FALL IN LOVE WITH ELAINE

BEAUTIFUL
  • Mood: Cheerful
  • Listening to: Ellie Goulding - My Blood
  • Playing: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Red Rescue Team

Journal History

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:iconamorra710:
Amorra710 Featured By Owner Edited Jan 22, 2015
Tsukai?, I'm sorry if this is annoying, but I wanna know if your still on, and if you could re-send your reply, because it said you got it.
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:iconamorra710:
Amorra710 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2015
Are you having note problems?
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:iconamorra710:
Amorra710 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2015
Could you re-send your reply please, i don't think I got it.
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:iconamorra710:
Amorra710 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2015
Still there?
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:icontigga-jones:
Tigga-Jones Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2014  Hobbyist Filmographer
yo yo long time no chat nerd
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:icongaryd12:
GaryD12 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Tsukai?
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:iconundeadkittn:
UndeadKittn Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2014
Did you end up getting my latest note reply? They've been glitchy lately so I'm just making sure. ^^
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:iconash-misty-pikachu:
Ash-Misty-Pikachu Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks so much for the fav! :iconpikalaplz: <3
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:iconsubterraneansunrise:
SubterraneanSunrise Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
invisibri.deviantart.com/art/R…
I did this for you some time ago but I never knew if you were on or not.
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:iconlittaly:
littaly Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2014  Student Digital Artist
happy birthday!!
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