man, when's the last time i've talked about these games
so i've started playing pokemon mystery dungeon: red rescue team on my game boy advance again and it's kind of rekindled my love for the little series as a whole ?? like i've always loved them but, y'know, it kind of got pushed to the side by other things and stuff that i discovered
in my current play through, my hero is an eevee named elaine and my partner is a cyndaquil named amber. i consider them both to be female-identifying because lesbian hero/partner is really cute to me tbh ....... oh, and my team is called team ambrosia. i've been using 'ambrosia' as the name for a lot of things in games i've played recently, for some reason, including the name of my farm in rune factory 4 ?? but, anyway, replaying red rescue has also made me recall an issue i have with the first pair of games, and it was an issue that was addressed beautifully in gates to infinity and given a solution to, but not so much in red and blue rescue.
it doesn't make the games bad by any means and it's easy to overlook, but it sort of bugs me that the hero has absolutely no conflict whatsoever over whether or not they really want to return home to their world after the meteor is destroyed, or if they want to stay in the pokemon world with their new friends. it's reasonable that they would be unsure in regards to their decision, but they must've had a life back as a human—friends, family, people that love them, you know? if they still didn't remember themselves, i guess that'd make it a <bit</i> more excusable, but there's no reason that they wouldn't, in my opinion, at least.
it's just my theory, but after the meteor was destroyed, the pokemon world was saved—according to gardevoir, the hero's memories were erased because, prior to becoming a pokemon, they asked to be put to the test so they could prove themselves worthy of saving the pokemon world. once rayquaza stopped the falling star, their role is fulfilled, therefore meaning that they've proved themselves, so while your character is making the trip through time and space as a little ball of light, i see no reason why their memories wouldn't have returned to them. at that point, they must remember who they are...or, perhaps were, as a human, and yet they feel no hesitation in staying. i know their partner is an 'invaluable, irreplaceable' friend, but it's still odd.
so, i've considered some reasoning for this utter lack of hesitation—my first thought is that the hero might not have had the best life before coming to the pokemon world. they might've been struggling with depression, even, for whatever reason, and i feel like gardevoir might've chosen to watch over them ?? it was a long time before she was able to speak to them directly. and when she finally could, she approached them with the task of saving the pokemon world not because they were special, but because she truly believed they could do great things. when she tasks them with this, they're skeptical, because it's likely that they don't think too highly of themselves, but gardevoir is certain, so the hero agrees, on the condition that gardevoir allow them to prove themselves worthy. near the end, after the star is destroyed, gardevoir apologizes to the hero, because she's watched them grow into a happier person in the pokemon world. happier than they ever were as a human.
that's why, even whenever the hero remembers themselves, they don't want to go home, because they're happy here. they've proved to themselves that they're worth something and perhaps they feel that all of this stuff they've accomplished in the pokemon world wont matter once they've become a human again and ?? that scares them. they want to stay with the friends they've made, people that love them, in a world where they're admired as a hero among pokemon. the savior of the world.
the other idea i had that's much simpler, though still plausible, is that the hero simply felt a complete ..... disconnection with who they used to be, at this point. they must've spent at least a year as a pokemon, given that some rescues must last more than one day, right ?? plus, all that time spent as a fugitive must've spanned at least a month, i wager, given the terrain they crossed and how far they traveled. i know the game makes it seem like they hardly ever stopped to rest, but they had to have done so at some point, or they probably would've, well, died. i'm getting off-topic, lmao, anywaaay, so spending more and more time as a pokemon just gradually made them feel less and less like a human. they still held the knowledge that they were originally human, but by all intents and purposes, they're a pokemon now, have lived as a pokemon for so long, so life as a human just seems like a foreign thing to them now.
personally, i don't find the latter idea as exciting, but it could always be a mix of both—memories that make them ultimately decide that they prefer life as a pokemon, along with a disconnection with who they used to be. they go hand in hand, especially, if the hero truly had kind of hated themselves as a human and didn't really recognize their self-worth, whereas now...they're the leader of a well-respected rescue team. they've done amazing things and even saved the world. they're happy with themselves, so that person they used to be feels like a different person entirely.
they've carved a new path for themselves, so why should they let anyone else decide how it ends ??
that's how i feel, anyway. like i said, it's an easy issue to overlook, because one could easily just "of course you'd want to stay !! your partner's your best friend !!!" and yeah, that's always the simplest possibility. now that i think about it, the hero could've just as easily fretted over how well the partner could function without them and couldn't bear the thought of leaving them alone ..... either way, hero/partner feels, i guess. the second set of games didn't have to address this issue, because it was established that the future was shitty. i think the explorers' games might've done a better job with showing the hero's internal conflict, but i still believe that they would've begrudgingly accepted their role, regardless.
speaking of explorers', i think i might need to make another journal on my thoughts regarding the mental state of the partner, but that'll be a bit later, so—
this was long and rambly, but those of you that have followed me for years probably remember how i used to nerd over these games, and they still hold a special place in my heart, you know ?? also, this means you might see a few new things from me, most in terms of writing. i don't think it'll be anything huge, but i might write some pokemon mystery dungeon-related drabbles, likely centering around elaine and amber. would you all be interested in that ??
i'll probably do it regardless but y'know
Listening to: Ellie Goulding - My Blood
Playing: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Red Rescue Team